Love Is To be Had Post 26 - 25 Year Death Song Indiegogo Project

Ambiguity is no illusion, it is the float in our mind as we earn it

Love Is To be Had

"Every time a man sets himself to learn, he has to labor as hard as anyone can, and the limits of his learning are determined by his own nature. Therefore, there is no point in talking about knowledge. Fear of knowledge is natural; all of us experience it, and there is nothing we can do about it. But no matter how frightening learning is, it is more terrible to think of…(living) without knowledge."

      -- Don Juan Matus      

There is a terrible seduction in the path I've taken with 'my lover; the unknown', and for people of a certain stripe she is jealous and confusion. I attained the float in my mind of broad solid data in my ambiguous and ever living equation of ones' prime understanding, thus: [self / loved ones (everyone) / categories / factor out the crap]. (Your equation will certainly vary).

Is malaria a love bug huh

When you can see without thinking you will know what is really real

My Dis-Function in Verse and Song Post 25 25 Year Death Song Indiegogo Project

My Dis-Function in Verse and Song

I too am of this class, and Pocahontas as well, we are seasoned alike and a world apart. This is mainly I know, why I hunger for her, she is such a reach, such the worst that my sense and my friends warnings promise; and also the best, I hope for and feel the love of her and too, her of me, waiting to attain our reality close together in hope past fears. We both.

 

 Chat heats as my wanting comes clearly

The band's only ballad, always lit up the crowd at the Sunken Gardens Theater in the day

Woman'
There is no reason why I'm tired of believin',
Or sick and grievin', cause I got you.
I just can't understand,
Why that you make me, feel uneasy, each and every day.
Woman I just can't explain,
How you do it, you put me through it, and make me pay.
You can never feel just what I do,
To love and to want you, but to let you go.
Woman can't you hear it,
Don't you know, don't you know, my heart keeps talking.
Woman can't you hear it,
Don't you know, don't you know, my heart keeps talking.
Why is it that you cannot comprehend,
Nor even bend, around to what I say.
In the beginning I had the belief, or was it the relief,
That you were what I was looking for.
It was an expected surprise,
That look in your eyes, mesmerized by my doubts.
You can never feel just what I do,
To love and to want you, but to let you go.
Woman can't you hear it,
Don't you know, don't you know, my heart keeps talking.
Woman can't you hear it,
Don't you know, don't you know, my heart keeps talking.
Woman can't you hear it,
Don't you know, don't you know, my heart keeps talking.
Woman can't you hear it,
Don't you know, don't you know, my heart keeps talking.
Woman can't you hear it,
Don't you know, don't you know, don't you know, don't you know, my heart keeps talking.
Can't you hear it, can't you hear it now.
Ohh my heart is talking to you.

Happy new Phone Day to Me Post 24 25 Year Death Song Indiegogo Project

Telephone in my bosom,,,get it? Very unusual in 1969, common enough now?

Happy new Phone Day to Me 

I got some stuff done early in the morning, loaded up my crappy LG840G which actually does everything I mant and only cost 39.99 at Wal-Mart. Net 10 baby! Nobody ever calls me anyway, I just listen to my music when I’m out. Nigerian Princess tells me she needs 230 to get her phone over there. I told her she needs a different kind of man to give her that. I’m guessing the service plan costs a lot for her over in Lagos.

On the zoosk front it is definitely all quiet. Like 200 women have taken a peek at my equation, but nothings perking yet on my end. There are many interesting women looking in Austin, but that’s too far to go, and besides I always meet a lot of girls when I go there, but they are kind of uptight for the most part. The only magic in that town; they fold and stick in their purses. They have some ways to throw coins and gifts in the mix to increase my visibility but I guess I will die alone before I stoop to that, and I don’t know why.

I give the impression of being cheap, indeed impoverished, but that’s been my vow for a long time. I am confident that my radical, unconventional perception of the concept is at last my key to the turnaround. This, the one thing I cannot do for myself and fatally need a woman to turn up for me. I can turn on creativity and catch it in a pan by dozens of process’; but I cannot light the burner, and I can’t be comfortable asking her to do that for me, even when I see it is mine for the asking. It feels false and weak to me, I don’t know exactly why. Lovers are so easy compared to propositioning an agent aspect of the woman I am looking at.

More of that love stuff, I'm just shameless. 

Sylvia run for it and don't look back!

My Love Is Spinning To I Wish I Knew Post 23 25 Year Death Song Indiegogo Project

I I used to think so as a boy. As a man, love is just fuel

My Love Is Spinning To I Wish I Knew

 

I definitely detect the real thing in this heady feeling I have now for my Nigerian chat companion. I can feel it in myself shedding pounds from increased activity and reduced appetite, More than fifty pounds since mid November, when my Omega love blew the back of my head off, deeply shocking me to see at last that my vows were causing me to be narrowed in my scope of interactions. I felt a desire/lust/love for that young woman that I neither planned nor expected; and I confessed that I handled it quite badly, although impeccably. I didn’t take that woman’s feelings into account at all in my terror and self-defense of something that I should have tried to start dealing with long ago. These vows that sustained me for decades, in my experiential-educational time of life, are no longer useful in the same capacity in my different life I am leading, into the future.

 

I do not mistake my feelings for Pocahontas, and to a great extent I know too how she feels for me, in the quid pro quo of our chat. Her determined demands to prove myself by sending money do not worry me about her; I see them as more as a woman than as a heartless Nigerian internet criminal-creature. She has sent me numerous photographs, though not one holding a sign addressed to me that will tell me that I am talking to whoever is in that picture.

She drops the bomb here:

Yeah baby, that's the ticket!

Working Seems The Same As Not Post 22 25 Year Death Song Indiegogo Project

What's not to love about this tune?

Working Seems The Same As Not

After laying off the hard work on this Indiegogo Project blog and connected aspects, I am not unsatisfied with my work on this yet unloved project at all. I have learned a lot at every step, and the ultimate success is based on a life that I have not yet lived. So far with this I have made many women I know uncomfortable, if not angry; but then, I have met as many new friends with smiles for who I am trying to become and supporting what I’m doing, at least they say as much.

My dance with my African princess seemed to tap out, but lo and behold she shook of her erstwhile malarial infection and is making ever more modest demands of material demonstration on my affection. I would never have believed it if someone else described having the feeling I have about this distant human presence. When we chat tonight, as I write this, I feel her reality in a visceral way that I just do not commonly feel with the actually real live and attractive young women I meet and talk face to face with here at home. And my connection with Pocahontas is a completely random choice of asking a face for friendship on Facebook. This I am certain is the root of my attraction to her. She is most of all to me, a perfect and wonderful narrative, a phenomenon the spirit, and placed in my life as a test, do I have the belief and the talent and ability to earn a wife such as Pocahontas who was only just born at the time I stepped onto my monastic journey to become her husband.

Won’t you tell your friends, spread the word about my real life storybook romance unfolding now. here as my life writes it? Once Pocahontas and I work out our plans, we will need your help to promote this odd and entertaining real-life literary Indiegogo Project!  Your contribution is vital to bringing together two unlikely people together for a chance at a storybook wedding!!

Ourchat here picks up interest!

Life seems determined to keep me from finishing my magic guitar, refinishing/decorating project. I thought I had it made today, would surely do the painting to finish the job; but the weather did not cooperate, too much wind to work outside in the park as I intended. I feel so much happier painting outside, because the studio is so full of distractions.

Geddy is in his amazing voice here

Calm Night, Beating Heart Post 21 25 Year Death Song Indiegogo Project

Calm Night, Beating Heart

For days and nights I’ve spent walking, praying and meditating and I am clear in sight and calmly waiting for Pocahontas to resolve our interaction. For me it’s another day in my life of ambiguous interactions with the women who pass through my life day to day. I think occasionally that I can change the pillar of my practice, impeccable action, taking responsible for may decisions and actions even as I see them rippling away beyond my control.

With this I can make accomplished artwork, write with great facility with of language, knock thrilling poetry off the top of my head as a by-product of other activities or love affairs. I can see the signs a woman gives of as we meet, converse, spar; the laughter, the attention, sometimes the yes/no, inevitably at last the sadness and at last the distance and she’s gone.

Pocahontas is so attractive to me because she reads me and draws me out in ways that perhaps even she could not do face to face. Clearly I do not fit in dominant North American culture, he very presise of my Indiegogo Project hact too much complexity that few will catch on to my intention of relaying my day to day life as an artwork unfolding without my prior knowledge of what will happen or how it will end. Finding my amazing exotic African princess is a turn I would never have predicted, and it may cash as a dead end at any time. Just another day in my life; I have laid off relating the real life local women I met every day, because my friends don’t like it, even though I always ask permission and most say she likes the idea; this is the torturous part of my turnaround. They don’t amount to anything but paragraphs anyway, unless the worm should turn her may.

Pocahontasdraws me out more here:

A song for every human expression in rock 'n roll's lexicon