Tom Wilson was a Cartoonist of great humor and
insight. Although dismissed by many critics
he had a very large and loyal following.
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Ode To The Antipsychotic
I counted out my medicines carelessly tonight. Retiring early I lay in repose, relaxing my physical person and my respiration came in easy regularity to the point of habitual slumber. Though my body sleeps I with effort stop conscious thought by meditation technique while I am aware I am not sleeping. Hearing city night sounds of sirens in the distance, patrolling helicopters and neighbors quiet voices passing under my window. These spark thought, at first in simple spirals that veer into linear perceptions like parted friends come back to play. I see at once the pills in the evening dish, and missing from the pack is the alpha seroquel. Eyes still closed tight, corporal form at rest, shall I rise and repair the error? How much time is past? This poem titled and neatly started; will it be here at some future composition? The nadir of my manic muse that poisons expression brings the world first to me but then as quickly drives it away by the relentless thought that banishes sleep, disrupts breath and leaves me trapped in a complexity of variables of thought that may or may not make sense to myself but cause others to furl their brows and move away. After many antipsychotic 'scripts and side effects with each, this seroquel at last melts my mania in knocking me out reliably and imposing long and study slumber. My doctor told me it brought on the diabetes my obesity has kept me on the borderline of for half a decade, but it seems a reasonable bargain for a way to peacefully cope in a way that while damping my mania does not strangle my creativity or restrict my intellect. In my journey into the tunnel of diagnosis of perceived mental illness I have been through crisis centers and psychiatrists and state hospitals and jailhouses and on the streets of big cities. I’ve seen and met and questioned listened, carefully listened to each one who would share her story, her diagnosis, review his prescription and her effects direct and side. I saw their capacity to love and felt the sorrow from their existence and their fear of not knowing and not trusting the doctors, drugs and even the diagnosis that strips us of the perceived sanity that in time we wonder why it seemed to matter. I came through the tunnel a functional person by the love and help of family and friends; but it was mainly up to my own effort, that as with each of us. Try to find trust in your doctors treatment, they have seen many similar patient’s diagnosis. Try the meds, but read all you can about the affects, and try to see past initial side effects and look for improvement. it is a numbers game, keep after your doctor to find the right combination to make your mind function for you.
Comic Book Shaman Jan 12, 2012 | 
